Healing School
I wish I could say that at the time of writing this, healing from rape and sexual abuse has never been more effortless, but I'd be lying. Healing from sexual violence will never be easy. That's the truth of it.
However, what is beginning to change is an awareness that sexual violence is happening to most women and girls. As I write this in 2021, the UK government has apologised for their mistreatment of women within the sexual violence legal framework, and offstead have made nationwide recommendations for schools to improve education around sex, consent and stop normalising sexism and sexual harassment within schools.
Recognising that this worst of survivable crimes is happening isn't enough, though, is it? In my personal and professional experience, many victims and survivors still feel abandoned by a world that doesn't recognise the impact that sexual violence has on women. Women across the planet don't know what to do or where to turn for support. And that's no surprise. Sexual violence destroys your sense of worth, destroys your trust in yourself, and it destroys your trust in other people.
And if the professionals and the people you hold close to you don’t know how to help, how on earth are you supposed to know? What makes it worse is that you're treating it as if the burnout, the emotional overwhelm, the binge eating, the not eating, the constant bubbling rage, flashbacks, fear, lack of trust, anxiety, depression, nightmares, insomnia, restlessness, fear of sex, hyperarousal, lethargy, crying more than anyone else you know and feeling like you're not good enough is just who you are. And I know you've taken some action on those things, darling. You try to exercise, but it burns you out quickly, so it doesn't last for long. And you've been to the doctor, and they prescribed the antidepressants. You've told some people about what happened, but you feel that, luckily, they didn't make a big deal out of it. I mean, you spoke about it that once with them, but who needs to speak about rape, right? It makes people feel uncomfortable. And as for the flashbacks, you fight your way through them or do your best to ignore them because it's best not to give into them, right? But it's not going away, is it?
"You're treating it all as if this is just who you are, but this isn't who you are, these are the symptoms of what happened to you"
Leanna Larkin - Creative Founder
"It takes monumental effort to drag yourself through that every day. It takes more effort than you think you've got"
Leanna Larkin -Creative Founder
Leanna Larkin - Creative Founder
It doesn't matter how many motivational quotes you collect or how many other people's stories you've read; those feelings don't go away, do they. Every day feels so hard, like trekking through the bog of eternal stench, with a rucksack on your back that weighs more than you and is making you feel way too hot. Wearing shoes that give you the most painful blisters, all the while having to endure the song you hate the most playing loudly on repeat.
And it takes monumental human effort to drag yourself through that every day it takes more effort than you think you've got. And who do you blame for not being able to do it on those days? Yourself.
Blaming yourself is a useful coping strategy, right - because it helps you believe that you do have control if you could just "control" yourself. There are other coping strategies that you've honed and sharpened as well, aren't there. Pretending that nothing is wrong, distancing yourself from friends, avoiding sex, keeping busy, self-harming, binge eating, not eating, drinking, smoking, denying yourself nice things, making yourself have sex when you don't really want to, ignoring your gut instinct, not speaking up for yourself, repressing how you feel - to name but a few.
But do you know what I think, darling? I think you deserve so much more.
"You've got the chance here to give yourself the best possible chance to pursue your passions and create the life you were supposed to have before this awful thing happened".
Leanna Larkin - Creative Founder
You deserve to have complete control over your life, my darling,
You deserve happiness.
You deserve to feel resilient, positive and hopeful.
And do you know what else I think? I think you owe it to yourself to feel unfuckwithable and confident.
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You've got the opportunity here to give yourself the best possible chance to pursue your passions and create the life you were supposed to have before this awful thing happened. Because when women like you heal not only do you heal yourself you heal others. Everybody benefits when women heal - EVERYBODY, your community, your friends, your family and your partners. It's like a domino effect, which helps everyone and stops the cycle of sexual violence.
You owe it to yourself to reclaim your life back, my love, with both hands.
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Reclaiming and rebuilding your life after sexual violence enables you to feel stronger and more optimistic than Rocky Balbo in the Eye of Tiger Scene.
"You will see and hear yourself making choices based on your strengths and values, not your fears".
Leanna Larkin -Creative Founder
If or when you choose to tell your story, you will hear yourself doing it with confidence and clarity; you will see yourself making choices based on your strengths and values, not your fears. You will start living a life that not only makes sense to you, but that brings you so much satisfaction, hope and freedom.
You will hear yourself asking for what you want - without apology or guilt. You will see yourself following your dreams and passions without fear of what other people think of you. You will attract relationships in your life that respect and honour your wants and needs, and it will feel like lightning lives in your body. You will be saying “no” with strength and conviction, and on the flip side, you will be saying a full-body “fuck yes” to the things that resonate and excite you. You will believe that your happiness is totally worth pursuing, without exception, guilt or compromise.
You know that feeling that you get when you really see with your eyes just how gorgeous trees are. Or when your sat around a dinner table with people you love and vibe with and you're having the best ever time. That feeling of overbrimming with gratitude mixed with bone marrow deep contentment, THAT FEELING RIGHT THERE is what you get when you work with me.
"I've been where you are, and I know what it takes and what it feels like to do the emotional work required, I am here to give you all the knowledge and understanding that should be included in all sexual violence healing programmes".
Leanna Larkin - Creative Founder
I will share with you EVERYTHING I have learnt about healing and rebuilding your life after sexual violence.
EVERYTHING.
Wanna know how trauma affects your body? I’ve got you.
Wanna know how to start feeling sexy again?, I’ve got you.
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Wanna know how to uncover and heal deep and hidden wounds? I've got you.
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Wanna understand your destructive patterns? I've got you.
Wanna know how to harness the power of your feminine energy, I’ve got you.
Wanna know how to feel amazing even with PTSD/CPTSD - I’ve got you.
Because my darling, I’ve been where you are, and I know what it takes and what it feels like to do the emotional work required.
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I am here to give you all the knowledge, encouragement and understanding that should be included in all sexual violence healing programmes.
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And look how far you've come already, it must mean something if you're still reading this. Do you know what I think it means? I think it means that you're ready and you won't be healthy, in control and empowered more than you want to feel trapped, alone and coping. I also know that if you've got this far, you and I are going to get on very well.
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We can face the tough bits together darling.
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So where do we go from here?
How do we take this absolute worst of survivable crimes and the trauma it inflicts and turn it into a life that you freakin love?. The kind of life that you can't wait to get out of bed for after a restful and rejuvenating full nights sleep!?!?
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That's where Healing School comes in. It's okay, you're safe x